Despite Dubversion’s protestations to the contrary – myself and Aphasic (MD, the Junk Yard) were unanimous in our verdict. We had a response rate which was impressive in terms of quality AND quantity so narrowing it all down to three was hard.

So in reverse order:

Third Prize: Robbe VL

1. aphasic = not in phase. It’s like when you have two identical sinusfunctions, you lay the one on top of the other, so that they cover each other completely. Now they are in phase. Whaen you shift one a little; they are aphasic, which is not quite yet the same as anti-phasic, mind you.

2. junk funk: Take bits and pieces of old, thrown away (hence, the ‘junk’ part), and forgotten funk, forge and shape them together, using whatever tools necessairy (hammers, anvils and some electronica), to create the ultime groovy funky rythm.

Second Prize: Owen C

1)What does aphasic mean

Capiche???? (wham) urggh capichee!!!! scaasca;ape CAPP
EESEESESEEEEEESH)*&^*)&^

CFAP cpapidsch e caphchicsiepcjo sdjcsopi c apop piche. pipo;lk
CAPIOSD;LKs ap;;lj FUCKRGIN p;sad;csap capppicshes

2) What does “Junk Funk” mean to you

I am reminded of a sinister person in the doorway of a central London establishment which was advertising a celebrated Australian bin hitting event.

ABC’s Lexicon of Love
Hull
Standing firm against terrorism at the free festival (but unfortunately Horace Andy didn’t turn up so there was just some junk funk instead. Will this do.

First Prize: Loki

(Loki is the Loki who does An Idiot’s Guide to Dreaming, not the former caner who ranted on uncarved.org circa 2000, just to pre-empt any further ill-conceived challenges to my autho-ra-tye)

1) Aphasic means someone who can’t speak and/or can’t understand speech – (why isn’t speech spelt speech?)

2) “Junk Funk” means Einsturzende Neubauten doing Kid Creole Cover Versions under a railway bridge in Dusseldorf or small ferret boys with Braveheart tattoos drumming on water bottles and blowing down lengths of day-glo paint strewn plastic drain-pipes in The Green Fields at Glastonbury or the bloated feeling that the guy from Supersize Me feels just before his stomach explodes.