Things I have found out about ebay this week

I’m having a bit of a clear out of stuff which is really gnarly to fondle occasionally, but very rarely gets listened to. And I have discovered that:

1) If you’re selling stuff you get stats on how many people are watching your items.
2) My obsession with watching items I am selling far outweighs my obsession with watching items I am bidding on.
3) There is no problem posting up pictures of naked Japanese women who are trussed up like turkeys
4) …but Ebay doesn’t like the word “fuck”:

Hello John-Eden,

Thank you for writing to eBay. I am sorry to learn that you are facing problems in searching the item number 4773190712.

I reviewed our records and found that the listing for the item number 4773190712 contains questionable word (f***). Our system will not index items for search that have inappropriate language in them. These words in your auction prevent this indexing. Unfortunately, this problem comes up occasionally with albums and CDs.

In this case, I would suggest you to end the listing early for your item and then relist it with the corrections and without that word.

Also note that using asterisks or other symbols and characters to disguise the word will not work. The system will recognise the attempt, and if the symbols are in the title, they will break the indexing attempt anyway.

Papa Levi chapter two: Onwards & Upwards

Previously, in the Papa Levi story

Riding the crest of a wave, Levi then became the first Saxon MC to sign a deal with a major label in the form of Island Records. Island are mainly associated with “album-ised” 70s JA roots like Marley and Burning Spear (as well as worthies like LKJ) but it also seems that they had their fingers on the pulse of homegrown talent.

Certainly Levi’s releases on Island are every bit as good as those on indies and the talent is definitely all there in the form of producer Paul “Groucho” Smykle, Paul Robinson continuing with drum duties and George Oban on bass & keyboards. Oban deserves a special “Uncarved gold medal” for going the distance with Aswad, UK fast chat, On-U Sound and even the Red Crayola.

“Bonnie and Clyde were two good looking people
But wicked and evil mister, that’s for sure
Entered a shop with a 30inch revolver (?)
They stole every dollar then they walked through the door
Two country folk, man, they craved for the city
Because they wanted money in our society
Lived very fast, they made a lot of money
But their life was soon to end in misery…”

Bonnie & Clyde came out towards the end of 1984, the full colour cover and Levi singing some of the verses suggests a serious push towards the pop charts to my mind. Lyrically this is familiar reggae territory with an ambiguous take on rude boy gangsterism – both glamourised and condemned in the same tune.

Musically this is as tight as any JA tune you can mention from the period – it’s fantastically accessible without losing its edge. Warm bass, crisp drums and a brilliant cascading synth line. TUNE!

Warning on the flip is a re-rub of Michigan and Smiley’s Diseases, but concerning herpes rather than the polomylitis etc of the original cut. It fits in well with this post about reggae and sexual health. Levi focuses on monogamy rather than safe sex and there is a bit of an undercurrent of misogyny here with women presented as dangerous seducing harbingers with short skirts. But it is only really an undercurrent to what is essentially a light hearted tune about a serious issue.

Big ‘n’ Broad followed shortly afterwards and was a return to more familiar soundsystem rhymes and attitude. The tune is about Levi’s lyrical dexterity and his career as an MC with Saxon Studio International. I’m assuming a good few people have already heard this because it’s on the Lyric Maker mix, but the 12″ also includes an extended instrumental section which we left out. A classic, anyway.

84-tion on the flip goes even further back in time – to Levi’s childhood!

“Well in the school I used to go, I used to get detention
Well in the school I used to go, I used to get detention
The teacher would shout ‘Williams! Shut up and pay attention.’
If anything go missing I would be under suspicion
The headmaster was giving me a lot of aggravation
When I-man school report would read ‘Phillip have no ambition.’
To carry on like this I would never have an occupation
They’d tell my parents I was headed in the wrong direction
Mamma asked ‘Why you so bad?’ me never have no explanation

[…]

I never knew that soundsystem would be my destination
But through the mic I built myself a massive reputation
Seh english and jamaican MCs give me inspiration
Seh Levi and the Colonel are the sweetest combination

Saxon MCs are the best – for us there is no opposition
Lyrics in my brain is worse than nuclear ammunition […]”

The backing track for this is minimal drum and bass which allows the lyrics to soak through you – the title comes from the fact that very line in the song ends in “tion”!

Trouble in Africa marks another landmark in the development of cockney chat. After all the admiration both ways, this was a real marriage of the islands of GB and JA: Levi on vocals, backed by Sly and Robbie. This 3 tracker came out in 1985 on Island’s Mango sublabel, for reaons unclear to me. The title track is some serious conscious lyrics over a great version of the stalag riddim.

Riot in Birmingham is sheer rapid-fire “reality” bizness over Sly & Robbie’s “Tickle Me” riddim (which warrants a future post of its very own). Levi’s lyrics outshine virtually everything that the anarchopunk scene was producing at the same time, its analysis is bang on and covers everything from class, police harassment to economics in terms of the black market, benefits and the huge spending drive on nuclear weapons. But of course all of that is negated for the spikey tops because Levi wasn’t a punk and the record came out on a major label…

“Well I-man Papa Levi, Island news reporter and writer[chorus]Riot inna Birmingham – shop get bruk up
Riot inna Birmingham – shop get bruk up
Burn up burn up house burn up car burn up van burn up truck
Burn up burn up shop burn up car burn up van burn up truck

Well down in a
Handsworth the living is a rough
Fi the poor man it hard(?) and for the poor man it tough
Seh social security- that’s not enough
Seh no jobs about – youth get dangerous
How long can the govt manhangle us
Them not see the situation serious

Problems we face are various
Police can stop a man just to suss
If you walk pon street you wan’ be well cautious
Police them always suspicious
If you drive big car them get envious
Not believe poor people can be ambitious
We come last and them come first
But the system is getting very monotonous

Future fi de youth don’ look marvelous
Even if you’re born as a true genius
From you’re living in the ghetto you have no status
If your complexion dark that make it even worse
This lyric dedicated to all the conscious
Want everybody join in pon the chorus

[chorus]

The reason for it is plain to see
I blame it on the ting called poverty
Poor people are the pillars of society
But don’t get not respect those in authority
Me no need the rich but the rich need me […]”

Dear Pastor is the flipside tune, in which Home T4 are given questionable life coaching by “The Right Reverend Father Papa Levi”. This is a kind of throwaway tune, quite funny in a “sexual farce” kind of way and a nice contrast with the seriousness of the a-side. Home T was a vocal trio, iirc, who were a huge deal for a while – collaborating with Shabba and Cocoa Tea on tunes like Pirate’s Anthem (which was the first tune played on Kiss when it went legal!). I seem to remember reading somewhere that HomeT-4 was some kind of supergroup also incorporating Cocoa T, but I could be wrong about that.

But enough spotterism. What infuriates and amazes me is that these three 12″ have zero 2nd hand value in London, which means you can often pick them up for a couple of quid – scant recognition for their actual quality.

Clearly Island didn’t quite know what to do with Levi, perhaps because his style and lyrics were too uncompromising for the Top of The Pops appearances which were to be his colleagues’ trophies, or perhaps because he was just too sarf London for people who “liked a bit of Bob Marley”.

All I know is that no album on Island ever appeared and “Trouble” was to be Papa Levi’s last release for the label.

Chapter Three: Papa Levi – the independent years.

infinite thØught: request

The answer to Nina’s query here.

Is probably here.

We have been rocking “Live at San Quentin” heavily in our house since I bought it for L’s birthday. It is without doubt one of the best albums ever made. Cash’s empathy with the San Quentin inmates is amazing to hear after so many do-gooding musician’s gesture politics.

RIDDIM MAGAZINE – jetzt auf englisch

Germany and France have been spoilt rotten for decent reggae mags for years, and we’ve had to put up with the odd half column in dance mags or Steve Barker’s one page in The Wire every month.

No longer!

http://www.riddim-mag.com

The first english language issue of Riddim is just out and is £3.50 with a great cover CD. Nice writing, nice photos, nice layout and all reggae/dancehall/ting. 100 full colour pages with articles on Burro Banton, Jah Cure, Augustus Pablo, Don Corleon, I-Wayne, reggaeton, etc with some nice reviews also.

Should be in discerning newsagents and apparently you can buy it in Borders. Online ordering from issue 2, which will be out in November, if it gets the support it deserves.

They just need to get Dave Stelfox, Penny Reel, Wayne&Wax and Greg Whitfield on board now and we’ll be sorted!

On The Wire mix for your downloading pleasure

The mix me and Paul Meme did for On The Wire went out as planned on Saturday which turned out to be the 21st anniversary show.

Paul now has an mp3 file for download over at his place. [direct link to file]. He also remastered it in 2020.

Check it:

1. Delroy Wilson – Keep on Trying (Music Lab 10″) 1982
2. Carlton Livingstone – You Make Your Mistake (Black Joy 12″) 1981
3. Lone Ranger – Collie Dub (Black Joy 12″) 1981
4. Yellowman – Soldier Take Over (Sonic Sounds 7″) 1982*
5. Welton Irie – Army Life (Pressure Sounds “When The Dances Were Changing” LP) 1982/1998
6. King Kong – Don’t Touch My Boops (Unity Sounds 12″) 1986
7. Admiral Bailey and Chaka Demus – One Scotch (Unity Sounds 12″) 1986
8. Shabban Rankin – Roots and Cultue (Digital B 7″) 1989*
9. Pinchers – Bandolero (Jammy$ Records 7″) 1991*
10. Frankie Paul – Pass The Tu Sheng Peng (Greensleeves 12″) 1984
11. Frisco Kid – It’s OK (Jammy$ Records 7″) 2002
12. Trevor Sparks – Bye Bye Love (Jammy$ Records 7″) 1987
13. Admiral Bailey – No Wey Better Than Yard (Live & Love 12″) 1988
14. Pinchers – Agony – (Live & Love 12″) 1987
15. Admiral Bailey – Big Belly Man (Live & Love “Kill Them With It” LP) 1987
16. Shabba Ranks – Trailer Load of Girls (Shang 7″) 1991*
17. Cobra – Yush (Penthouse 7″) 1991
18. Cutty Ranks – Dominate (Penthouse 7″) 1991
19. Killamanmachine – Amen (Clash 7″) 2004
20. Bong Ra – 666MPH (FFF vs Dionysos Remix) (Supertracks Records 12″) 2004
21. LFO Demon – Utterly Wipeout (Rave for Communism) (Sprengstoff 7″) 2003
22. Prince Jammy – Jammin for Survival (Grievous Angel’s Jammin’ on Distortion Mix) 1979/2005
23. Initial T – Tricks and Trade (Tree House Cannabis Music 7″) 2005
24. Turbulence – Notorious (Tree House Cannabis Music 7″) 2005

*courtesy of Danny!

something is moving… beneath our feet

I wouldn’t normally put such big pics on here, but JESUS CHRIST! That ain’t “normal”! Everyone in our household, and all the adults we’ve shown this to have completely freaked out when they’ve seen it. 4 year olds seem immune and reckon it’s hilarious, which frankly is all for the best… I think. It’s been in our dreams, we’ve been eerily forced to open the paper again and again to look at it…

So what… is it? It’s a colossal squid or Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni. The one in the photo is 17ft high, but they may grow to 49ft. And that freaky eye actually glows to illuminate its surroundings. Looking at the picture, the eyeball must be, what? As wide as my shoulders or something?

Feeling a primal urge to categorise, in my useless nerdy way, I managed to come up with this:

Wacky experimentalists The Residents and Lovecraft’s “blind idiot god” Cthulhu all combined in one easy-to-evacuate-your-bowels-with-fear package.

From what I can remember of the lecture given by Phil Hine and Malchick Nostra at the Scala cinema some years ago, Lovecraft never knew where half his weird shit came from – he would wake up, scared, in the middle of the night and see a pen at the end of his trembling hand, with the latest “work” laid out on the page before him.

Maybe the colossal squid was telling him something, and if not, this has to be the basis of all sorts of horror stories and myths about the deep. (And what else is down there, FFS?!).

The image is from Extreme Nature – Mark Carwardine which is being published by Collins in October.

Sweet Dreams, and careful what brushes against your leg in that bubble bath.

On The Goddamn Wire!!!

Steve Barker’s “On The Wire” radio show is 20 years old and should be familiar to many of my readers. The show has featured legendary tie-ins with Lee Perry, On-U Sound and a host of others as talented as they are diverse.

Barker also contributes the monthly dub reviews column to The Wire magazine. Reading that on the way to work one day last year I was forced to do a double take. And then freeze. And then get on the phone to Paul Meme and shout at him incoherently. After I got my breath back, Paul (and the rest of the train carriage) were apprised of the situation.

Steve Barker had reviewed Paul’s Grievous Angel Vs Niney The Observer: Blood and Fire (Twist-Up Dub Mix). In The Wire, for all to see. When we’d finished shouting at each other and one interested fellow commuter had got the url off me, I spent the rest of the day grinning. Unbeknown to me, Paul and Steve stayed in contact and discussed our mixes.

And then Steve popped the question at some point this summer – “Would you like to do an hour’s mix for On The Wire?”.

Saturday 17th September (nb: there is a small chance it will be rescheduled)
10pm Radio Lancashire 103.9, 95.5 and 104.5 FM.
http://www.onthewire.uk.com/